August 27, 2009

In the last several days, I have seen the number of visitors to the blog decline. The numbers have dropped by almost half.

I find this very disheartening.

It reminds me of a year ago when this incident happened. Initially my phone rang constantly at all hours of the day and night; and then after several weeks it became less and less. Now, I can go for days and my phone not ring once.

I understand that people are busy with jobs, children, school and so forth. I understand that the world does not revolve around the blog - or me, or Patrick.

I would not truly wish this on anyone but -

I wish that for one week everyone had to endure what Patrick has endured for almost a year. Sitting in a cell, without any knowledge what the future holds for him, and with no control over his own life and destiny.

I wish that everyone had to endure what I have had to endure for almost a year; I live in the scene of the crime. Every night when I go to sleep, I know I am sleeping on top of 30+ bullet holes; every night when I pull the shades, for the rest of the evening I have two bullet holes that stare me in the face. We won't talk about the rest of the bullet holes that are a constant reminder to me, there are a lot.

Every time I have to go to the post office, the only way for me to get there is to drive by the RV park where this nightmare happened; and I see precisely the spot where we were, and the spot in the parking lot that I sat while a war zone was exploding; and I remember the dead silence that fell, and I had the fear of death consume me. Those all come back to me when I do something as simple as going to get the mail.

Then there is the dread of going to Wal-Mart. That's the last place that Pat and I went together. Isn't that a wonderful memory to carry in my heart, knowing that could be the last memory I could have of us being together in a free world - Wal-Mart; what a pleasant memory.

And Patrick and I have no end in sight, we don't know if we will ever be together again in a free world. We may never get our lives back.

Think about that for a minute - we may NEVER get our lives back.

Early on I feared that after a while that I would lose the attention necesary to make this fund-raising campaign successful, I hope that I have not.

I have tried to find items of interest to post, I have read and written about my findings and I have sometimes let my emotions get the best of me when defending my husband and my passionate love for him.

Please, try walking in my shoes, and see if you can keep your emotions in check 24/7. Sue - an Army of one; I am fighting with every ounce of my energy and soul to save my husband.

I am alone; I have been alone for almost a year. Patrick is in his own hell of solitude sitting in a cell day after day. Everything he ever knew about life has been ripped away from him without mercy.

He may never know that life again.

Pat and I need the support of each and every one of you; the moral support and what is also extremely important, the financial support. Those donations need to keep coming in, our time is running out. We must be able to secure these experts for Pat's defense.

I never thought I would be someone begging for money for anything, but I am. I am begging for money to save someone's life. Do you understand that Pat Lamoureux's life could be over? Sending him to prison is a death sentence, we must not let this happen.

Some will read this and think I am being rude or pushy, perhaps I am. But please stop and think for a minute; what if this was YOUR husband, YOUR son, YOUR brother. AH HA! Don't think 'well my husband/son/brother would never do something like this!' Funny, a year ago right now, I would have said the same thing.

So in trying to think that thought, think how earth shattering and life changing it would be if it did happen; think what you would do, how hard you would fight, and how much you would BEG for help to save the life of that person.

Think about that for a minute. You too,would continue to beg for help from people that have already helped; you would beg with your heart and soul for that help because you would know without that help, the person you love will lose their life to prison.

I have begged for a $5.00 check - $5.00, if that was all that could be afforded. And I am still begging you, please help me save Pat's life.

I know that there are some people following the blog that believe that Pat DESERVES to go to prison that he DESERVES to be punished severly. They have publicly stated this.

May God forgive you for those thoughts and through his powers give you the ability to find human compassion within your soul. To believe a good man should be deserving of such punishment is to judge someone very harshly; "Judge not, lest you be judged."